Christina: Going through a divorce was by far one of the most stressful times I’ve ever been through. But what I wasn’t taking into account is what stress was doing to my body. It wasn’t until I learned to work with my body and provide nourishment during times of stress did I start to understand the dynamics of human performance.

Christina: Today. I’m so excited to have Michelle Rogers on from Wellthy woman to discuss exactly what happens to our body when we’re going under high amounts of stress and what actionable steps and things we can take to change and improve our state right now. We also discussed the topic of Bach flowers, and I’ve put together the top five Bach flowers that Dr. Michelle mentions on this episode and how each one can help us while going through a divorce or any other stressful time. 

Christina: Download your worksheet by clicking the link in the show notes and keep it with you on the go. To be honest, I can’t wait to apply some of these into my life. So take notes because this is a good one, and enjoy the episode.

Christina: Welcome to the her heart heels podcast. I’m your host, Christina Cuevas, coming to you from San Diego, California. This podcast is dedicated to all things divorce, healing after a breakup, and transforming your life after. Are you ready for change? You’ve come to the right place. Here we will be meeting with thought leaders and industry experts, sharing as much information as I can to help you on your journey. You are safe here, and you are loved here. If you’d like more information or to sign up for our newsletter, go to www.herheartheels.com and now onto the episode.

Christina: This podcast episode is brought to you by Indi Canna. Medicinal cannabis without the high for busy people on the go and their dogs. Their 100% organic pesticide-free CBD formulas are lab tested and can help a variety of symptoms, including inflammation and anxiety. Their products are human grade but can be used on pets.

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Christina: Okay. So the whole topic here is when I was going through a divorce, my, or anytime I’m going through a stressful situation. I just get frazzled and dazzled, and I just feel like my body goes into this instant fight or flight mode, and I lose a lot of sensory information. So I feel like my eyesight is worse, like I have light sensitivity when I’m under stress. I’m not absorbing all the information that I need to absorb. I make irrational decisions.

Christina: And so it really led me down this like a rabbit hole of like, holy shit, when we’re going through a stressful time or when we’re under an insane amount of pressure or stress, and we have to perform. Under that stress, because usually when we’re under stress, it’s because we have to perform in some way or show up in some way, and so for me, I was like, well, shit, that can’t be good for my body.

Christina: And what can I be doing to my body that can help me perform and show up better for whatever it is that I’m stressed out about? So, in particular, it was like about divorce. So can you. I guess shed any light on that as to like, what happens to our body when we’re like, all I know is what I feel, but I dunno.

Michelle: Yeah. I mean, what you feel is dead on. So I love that you’re in tune with your body because stress could be any stressor, right? It could be. Going through a divorce, it could be work demands. It could be speaking at an event. It could be going to a conference. It could be having to have a difficult conversation with someone.

Michelle: It could be so many different things, and stress can be real, perceived, or imagined. And our body responds the same way, no matter what, like literally, we could make up a scenario in our mind that stresses us out, and our body gonna have the same physiological response. And what you’re feeling like when you’re talking about like you have light sensitivity or like overall like sensory perception is like different.

Michelle: All of those things happen because when we get stressed out, our body releases a cascade of stress hormones. Most of us know about the hormone cortisol, right. So that puts us in that state of fight, fight, or freeze because our body literally thinks that it is in danger for its life. Like we are in survival mode.

Michelle: And what happens is like what you were saying, like just being under an insane amount of stress. Most of us are under an insane amount of stress, whether it’s stress that we put on ourselves, whether it’s environmental stressors from toxins, or business emotional stress, like all of these things, right.

Michelle: But basically, we end up being stuck in this state, and this state is basically like a trauma response. Because of what we’re in. And we like to sit in this trauma response, and basically, what’s happening is we’re so used to constantly being bombarded by stress that a lot of us end up getting numb to it.

Michelle: We don’t even realize that we’re experiencing stress. I talk to so many women who are like, we start talking about stress, and they’re like, I don’t necessarily feel stressed, but then we start going through stuff, and they’re like, oh my God. Yeah, I have constant, and just with any sort of constant stimuli, our, we become numb to it.

Michelle: It becomes our new normal, and we don’t realize that our body is stuck in this trauma response, but what’s happening is chronic stress contributes to all kinds of health issues, right? Like it can contribute to things like high blood pressure. It can actually increase the formation of artery-clogging deposits.

Michelle: It can cause changes in our brain related to anxiety, depression, and addiction. It can cause issues with weight changes. It can basically shunt blood flow away from our digestive system. So basically, we’re not able to like digest and absorb our nutrients as well as we could, which means our body’s not getting the building blocks and hormones and are the building blocks. It needs things like hormones and neurotransmitters, and other important compounds. Right. 

Christina: Yeah, because it’s too busy working on. Am I going to survive or not? 

Michelle: Exactly. Yes, exactly. And so, like our immune function goes down like our body is literally, I mean if you think about what happens if you were literally running for your life like blood gets shunted away from your vital organs to your limbs to provide nourishment so that you can run.

Michelle: Your pupils dilate because if your body’s trying to bring in all of that light so that you can sort of like see danger better, which is why you probably have that light sensitivity. Right. Cause your pupils are dilated, there’s yeah. Literal, physiological things that happen around that. 

Christina: Totally. So after the final divorce hearing for me, I was, I mean, yeah, I have stress on it as daily life that I deal with. But for like circumstance circumstantial stress, I guess you could say where I had to show up, and it was heightened. It was like super fearful stress.

Christina: After that happened, I got really sick, like flu. I got the flu, and I noticed that it happens to a lot of people. Like a lot of my friends would tell me if they’re going through a move or they’re moving houses, and it’s like, Right after the move comes in and they’re just settling in, boom, they got sick.

Christina: Just so many people that I talk to, like after they go through a certain stressful time, they get sick. 

Michelle: Yep. Exactly. Because during that stressful time, your body, like I said, is in survival mode. So it’s I don’t need to deal with this invader, whether it’s a virus, bacteria, whatever, I’m not gonna deal with this right now. Cause I gotta deal with this other shit. That is more important. And so, your immune system is literally suppressed. And so what happens is when these people get sick, it happens when people are like in school too, and they’re like pushing through finals, and they get like spring break, and they’re just.

Michelle: The entire spring break, because what happens is their cortisol level finally gets to decrease enough to where the immune response can come back and be like, oh, Hey, okay, now I can go to work and actually do my job. And unfortunately, that tends to make you sick because when the immune system’s doing its job, it gets activated.

Michelle: It. Be activated. Some people kind of tout like, oh, I never get sick. Like I never get sick ever. Or I haven’t been sick in five years, and it’s that’s cause you’re under chronic stress. Like you should be getting sick like once or twice a year. That is normal. That is good exercise for your immune system.

Michelle: I hear that whenever I hear that feedback from someone, I’m like 

Christina: Well, oh my gosh. Well, here I was, waltzing around like using that as like one of my life skills. Like I never get sick. All right. So the goal is to get sick more often.

Michelle: It’s like not what you were expecting to hear today.

Christina: Not at all. I was like, oh yeah, I never get sick. I’m totally one of those people. Funny. Awesome. 

Michelle: Yeah, but also what you were saying around like impulse control stuff too. When we’re stressed out to a situation or circumstance or whatever, how many of us end up distracting ourselves? Right. We are more susceptible to reaching for our vices, making impulsive decisions, and letting our routine slip like not eating enough or overeating or not sleeping, or oversleeping.

Michelle: Right. Totally all the above. Yes. And that distraction, that constant distraction, is literally just adding more stress to our body because it’s like more input that we’re like having to deal with and more. And when obviously, when our routines are off, we’re not sleeping well, we’re not eating well. That puts additional stress on our bodies. So stress doesn’t have to be like, I need to meet this deadline. Like stress can be physiological too. Sure. And so we have to keep that in mind. 

Michelle: So it’s actually really important almost to like actually stop distracting yourself. And I usually, when people are going through traumatic events or like events that kinda stir up grief and stuff, like I always say, give yourself at least some part of the day to where you’re dedicating that time to feel the feels like, feel those feelings and process them because otherwise they’re just gonna stay stuck. Your body’s gonna stay in that state of trauma. Do you know what I mean? 

Christina: I love that. Yep. That’s it’s like a life motto. Feel the feelings for sure.

Michelle: Yes. And you can put a timer on it. It’s not. You have to feel the feeling all day long. You like, I’m feel the for 10 minutes and literally just allow yourself to feel whatever comes up.

Michelle: But that movement, that energy and motion. So vital to the healing process. And I remember like when I went through my divorce, like something I had to keep reminding myself was like, these waves, these emotional waves, and I literally pictured them as waves. Like these waves are going to get less intense and less frequent over time.

Michelle: That’s a fact, and that was a fact like that did happen. And I started noticing that, but it was because I allowed myself to feel it. Totally. 

Christina: And so when we have to show up for these events, that call that causes us, like a heightened state of stress or even just like daily stress, why is it important to nurture our bodies and keep our minds sharp? How does what we put in our body affect our stress state. 

Michelle: Yeah. So intimately is connected because yeah, like I was saying, when our sleep is irregular when our meal time is irregular, that puts physiological stress on our body. Right. And so, it continues this sort of cortisol cycle.

Michelle: And when cortisol is constantly elevated, streaming through our system, it contributes to things like inflammation, blood, sugar, irregularities like I said, decreased immune function and something, a lot of people don’t think about is that it actually is Shing blood also from our what’s called our four brains where our executive function kinda live.

Michelle: So things like working, memory, cognitive skills, mental flexibility, and impulse control actually. So the blood is actually shunted from that area to our more the brain, which is more reflexive. So we end up going towards irregular eating, irregular sleeping, worry, hypersensitivity, lack of focus, impulsive behavior, and impulsive decisions, right?

Christina: Bingo. 

Michelle: Yes. . Oh my gosh. Yes, and something, it’s like that messes up with our routine, of course, and when we’re out of touch with those natural biorhythms, metabolic chaos happens in our body. So something as simple as our circadian rhythm, our sleep-wake cycle, doesn’t only affect our sleep, but it also affects our body temperature, our hormone secretions, our blood pressure, our digestive secretions, our level of alertness, and our reaction time.

Michelle: So all of that stuff is really important. So I always say, during these stressful times. It’s super, super important to take care of ourselves. And I’m not just talking about self-care because self-care might not look like bubble baths and pedicures all the time.

Michelle: Yeah. It might just look like respecting your bedtime and eating mindful meals during the day. It could be that simple, but that kinda stuff like those simple, nourishing activities are going to help you function so much better. Seriously. 

Christina: Totally. Oh my gosh. I love that. You said that it doesn’t look like bubble bats and pedicures because I think the whole self-care is such a broad term.

Christina: These days where everything can get misconstrued into self-care. What people need at different times of their life. Selfcare can totally vary, and what you’re doing for self-care, what you think you’re doing for self-care isn’t necessarily what’s gonna help you in that state.

Christina: Like you have to be so conscious of what kind of self-care it is that you’re doing to get the that you want. 

Michelle: Totally. And I’ve even seen people who will reach for advice or something like that or something that really is not serving them and say it’s self-care cause it’s like serving me on this one level.

Michelle: And so it is really important to kinda catch yourself and is that, or is that you like lying to yourself and tricking yourself because you’re actually just kinda still functioning from that impulsive behavior, instead of really thinking into your body and being like, Hey body what do you need right now?

Christina: Totally. And so, for me, when I’m under stress, I usually like to go towards some type of brain function supplement. Just to, I guess, keep my thinking straight, but I think what are some ways or some things that we can take or do to help us during super stressful times?

Michelle: Yeah. So I would say you’re I would say there are a few things that I would think about first, something as simple as nervine herbs or like nervine teas. Nervine just means that it helps to comb our nervous system because, like I said, or like we’ve been talking about, we need to get ourselves outta that fight-flight or freeze response.

Michelle: So we need the nervous system, the break, it needs to process and to integrate. And so nervine herbs are things like lavender or lemon, skullcap is another one or Lindon. Those are all really beautiful nervine herbs that you could kind of make yourself. This would be a perfect self-care thing, like having a cup of tea and maybe during that time, allowing yourself to feel the feels and, you know, whatever ritual you wanna create around that, doing that at night can be really helpful too.

Michelle: Nervine tea I like a lot because they don’t necessarily make you sleepy. They just take that edge off, so you don’t feel like your nervous system’s fried. If that makes sense. 

Christina: Yeah, totally. Yeah. And we’re talking, and we’re not talking like there’s like lavender is there’s so much I guess the artificial type of Laven we’re talking like I’m actually lavender flower tea. Perfect. Okay. 

Michelle: Yeah. Yeah. And yes, the real deal, if you, yeah. If you are gonna use something like essential oil, which I think is what you’re talking about, you definitely wanna make sure it’s correct. Like it has the genus and species name on there, and it’s a hundred percent pure because there is a lot of synthetic synthetically created lavender sense out there that are not great. 

Christina: Totally. Yeah. And that doesn’t work. People are like, oh yeah, like I’ve got like a whole damn. Full of lavender scent, and I’m still stressed out. Yeah. But it’s yeah, you’re not using like the right lavender. 

Michelle: Yeah. And I get a lot of people too, who are like, I don’t even like the smell lavender, and it’s okay, let’s talk about that, and it’s oh, cause you’ve been smelling the synthetic lavender. 

Christina: oh my gosh.

Michelle: Yes. But anyway, yeah, so those are some great ones. So lavender, chamomile, lemon balm. I love lemon balm. That’s probably one of my favorites. Probably one of my favorite things. I love it too. 

Christina: Yeah. I love it too. 

Michelle: It’s so good. It tastes delicious. It’s just like something a little bit different cause a lot of people are used to a meal, and it’s, I dunno can get a little old sometimes it really, yeah.

Christina: It just kind of reminds me of something like I found in my grandmother’s cup.

Michelle: Yeah, mom was, I dunno. Lemon’s sexier. I. Yeah, this sucks, I know. Right. Also, just like when we’re super, super stressed out, our body is pumping through B vitamins a lot. So I usually recommend just making sure you’re taking like multiple B vitamins or something like that.

Michelle: If you’re taking a multivitamin, it’s probably already in there, but just being conscious of that causes stress really does utilize a lot of resources in the body. One of my favorite things for sleep. If you’re having trouble with anxiety or just have racing thoughts before bed, one of my favorites is LC that’s it’s basically a constituent founding green tea, but it doesn’t have caffeine, and it also doesn’t necessarily make you feel drowsy.

Michelle: So I’ll even recommend this for some people who have a tendency towards panic attacks during the day or anxiety like heightened anxiety during the day. You can actually take it just kinda helps again, take them, and then you have brought it up.

Michelle: Just like brain support supplements. And one of the things, there’s a particular product, and I’m not associated with their designs for health, a called dopa boost. Really nice boost of dopamine. In a sense, it’s not directly, it’s not like you’re taking dopamine, but it’s some precursors that can help improve your dopamine, metabolism, and brain. So that is really helpful.

Michelle: So I don’t know if any of you guys know about Bach flower essences. Are you familiar with flower essences? 

Christina: Yeah. So when you and I talked about this before, I’m super curious. I know what it is. I see it all the time. I’ve given it to my dogs because they make a, like a dog formula. Totally. But I don’t. I’m not on the train, so help me.

Michelle: Yeah. Yeah. It’s really, and I love flower essences time that there’s like an emotional event happening or someone’s kind of processing a lot of emotions. So Bach flower it’s on the same spectrum as homeopathy in the sense that it’s like an energetic medicine. It’s more of it’s more working with the electromagnetic, energetic field than our physiological field. So some people are like, oh, that’s way too. Woo. For me. But these things work. 

Christina: Do they really? Okay. 

Michelle: Yeah, they work I’m I love that I have my own Bach flower set and everything, and I’ll make it. If my clients need a combination or something, I’ll for sure make one up.

Michelle: But some of my favorites. I picked out a few that I would associate with going through a divorce or going through a hard time like that. And so, the first one I wrote down was cherry plum, and that one’s really good for you. If you are in a situation where you need to, you need to hold it together, and you need to like, not fall apart, like all over the floor so that one just kinda helps you hold things together when you need to, when you’re not in your time of feeling the, of course, honeysuckle is a really good one for sadness related to loss and really letting go of the past.

Michelle: Red Chestnut is a good one. In relation to kinda like the, like losing a loved one, because that is like what’s happening. So helps just like with sympathy and comforting and nurturing, it just helps kind those qualities within yourself. Star of Bethlehem is more for. I would say more intense emotions like inconsolable grief, like severe disappointment shock, and this particular one kind of helps you to let go and forgive a little bit easier. Sweet Chestnut. Go ahead.

Christina: No. So I was gonna ask you just really quickly. So all of these bach flowers are like floral essential oils. How do they get this, like makeup or the liquid?

Michelle: So it doesn’t necessarily have any particulate in it. So it’s, and it’s not any volatile compounds. It’s more of the energetic signature of the plant itself. It’s

Christina: Yeah, go ahead. I just I’ve never, like I said, I’ve always been curious about it. I’ve never even dabbled in it, so I’m fascinated. 

Michelle: Yeah, they are really, really, really awesome. I love them so much. Let’s see. Oh, sweet chestnut is for intense sorrow for feelings of like hopelessness, feeling like you’re on the edge of it’s just like on the edge, like on the verge of a breakdown. So that one is really good for that. It is a really nice one for any sort of life change or transition or anything that from it helps you away from the past.

Michelle: And then the wild oath is a really good one for those of you, and I remember feeling this too, just like feeling clueless as to what’s next. Not really, just feeling like what and the, what is happening. I don’t know where to go from here. So wild oath is really good for that one. 

Christina: Awesome. I think what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna put together like a worksheet of all of these ones that you just listed along with the benefits of them because I think that would be super helpful just to have as a guide cause I know like when I go to sprouts or Jimbos, I. I’m kind of going through the aisles or whole foods, and you just see them, and it’s kind of overwhelming. Yeah. But this would be nice to have. So I’ll put that in the show notes, for sure. 

Michelle: Yeah. And you can use those individually or together so they can be combined.

Michelle: If you read through and you’re like, well, three of these, or maybe all of them, even if all of them. If, if all of them resonated with you, you could put them all into one sort of combination mixture for yourself to take throughout the day. But you could also just take one if just one really resonates with you.

Christina: So what’s the guide to taking them? Do you take them throughout the day? Do you take them as needed? Is there a certain dosage? That they recommend. 

Michelle: Yeah. That’s a good question. Technically, I can’t give medical advice, so I’m gonna say what I would do. Sure. What I would do is I would if I were making a combination formula with all seven of these; what I would do is I would put two drops each into a two-ounce dropper bottle. Then I would fill the rest of the bottle up with spring water. Maybe a tiny bit of like alcohol, like Brandy or whiskey, just to just for antimicrobial sake.

Michelle: What I would do is I would just underneath my tongue, I would put just like four or five drops, like three or four times throughout the day and just kind, so use it like that as more of like maintenance, if you need it more acutely, if you feel things that are coming up and it’s not time to let the feel feels you can use it acutely during that time when you needed it. 

Christina: Awesome. Yeah, totally cool. Just get myself a metal straw and put it right in the jar. Just kidding.

Christina: Do you have any other tips before we jump off? This is all like a whole new world, and I’m actually really excited about it. I can’t wait to go to the store and pick up some of the cherry ones the whole get your shit together and wild oath. 

Michelle: Yes. Yes. I love it. Yeah. I love to like walnuts might be really nice for you too.

Michelle: Just like a transition going through a transition, just throwing that out there. yeah,

Christina: I can’t wait. I can’t wait. I’m so excited to try it. Thanks for introducing us to this. I think it’s a whole new world, and a lot of people get overwhelmed with supplements and essential oils. And I think this is a really nice way to also ground energetically, also it with nature because it kinda comes with that. There’s essential too. Yeah. Yeah. Love that.

Michelle: They’re kind of; it’s like a liquid hug. It’s just like, you know exactly what you need. I love it. 

Christina: Liquid hug. I love that.

Christina: This is so awesome and so helpful. Did you want to add anything else, or can you tell us a little bit about what’s coming up for you? 

Michelle: Let’s see. I am coming out with health for hustlers small group mastermind for women. So that is at work. So I will let you know when that’s coming out, and of course, there’s always an opportunity to work one-on-one with me as well, podcast episodes coming out every week. I actually just started my YouTube channel. I’m dabbling in video podcast, which is so fun. So that’s what I got. 

Christina: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for your valuable information. I know that I always go to you when I have pressing questions, pressing health questions, or when I’m going through a crisis. You always help me, and so I’m just excited to share your information with everybody else. I will add a link to all your information in the show notes as well so that people can check out your work. Thanks for joining. 

Michelle: Perfect. Thank you for the opportunity.

Christina: Wanna learn more? I’m gonna add a link in the show notes to the website, herheartheals.com, and there you can access all of my helpful tips, the blogs on there and schedule a session with me. Are you on Instagram? I’d love to connect. You can follow me, and my handle is @herheartheals hope to connect with you soon.