[00:00:00] You’re listening to Her Heart Heals Divorce Radio.

[00:00:08] Hi, I’m Christina Cuevas. Seven years ago, I went through a divorce and it completely turned my world upside down. And I’m so glad it did. I documented my healing to share information with other women going through their own divorce journey. And now, With thousands of downloads around the world from divorced women just like you, I’m here to show you how to ditch the shame around divorce and finally heal so that you can regain the confidence to create your most abundant and joyful future.

[00:00:38] I’m so glad you’re here. This is Her Heart Heals Divorce Radio.

[00:00:44] And why hello there and welcome back. I’m excited to bring you another episode. This is actually only a few days after I just recorded. Episode 77. Which I think [00:01:00] by the time you listened to this, it will have been live for a little bit now. But I was really inspired. I don’t know if like I am just in a big, like having all these epiphanies this week or what, but I’m getting all kinds of downloads in. Things that I’m creating.

[00:01:18] And I’m really excited about, about that. And I’ll share a little bit more, but. Uh, I was on stories today. Over hanging out on the gram. How we do. And. I was sharing about.

[00:01:32] A situation that happened to me. Today or this week. That brought up some feelings all around. Divorce and things that happen. That we wish. Didn’t happen. That are also beyond our control. When divorced women like you and I.

[00:01:57] Take responsibility for everyone and [00:02:00] everything. And loss or chapters closing can feel like. It’s all our fault or that it must have been something that we did. That was causing it.

[00:02:14] I wanted to share. From my own experience. Now having been like, I think it’s been eight years since I got divorced. And really sharing how stuff like this continues to come up. And I think that it’s really important to talk about this and share. Why it’s so important to learn these lessons so that we can bounce back because I always say divorce is never going to be. The last hard thing that we go through. And everything that we go through are going to be experiences and lessons and things that are helping us evolve on our [00:03:00] journey. This just seemed like the perfect opportunity to share. How I bounce back

[00:03:07] It’s not about revisiting your divorce, but I felt like this was appropriate to share on the podcast. Too. Help you and I give you my tips on how to move forward from this situation, how to take. The juicy goodness, from an experience like this, that happens well after divorce. And how to apply it.

[00:03:31] You could be currently going through divorce and experiencing things that trigger. A similar feeling or you can be years out of divorce and experiencing. Something along the same lines. I know that this is going to help you. And we move through it together.

[00:03:49] So I’m gonna give you my tips on how I move through that. And yeah. Let’s get it going. So here’s what went down. [00:04:00] I have. A tree. On my property. And it’s this. I have like three big Oak trees. That have been here for gosh. Uh, re a really long time. I don’t want to say hundreds cause I don’t really know it’s been here for a really long time.

[00:04:18] There they’re massive. And when I moved into this house, Like seven years ago. Um, This tree was looking. Looking like. It needed a little love compared to the other Oaks that. We are similar in size. I gave it extra watering. I spent. Literally since I moved in like seven years. Nurturing this tree. Trying to give it. What it needed, what I thought that it needed.

[00:04:57] And when I talk about nurturing, [00:05:00] like I paid. In arborist who specializes in. Oak trees. To come out to my home. Several times. To give me advice on what was happening with the tree. Like he speaks tree. Which I love that cause I do too. Um, but he speaks to him like a whole other level. So he, is an Oak tree expert that comes out. And he gave me all kinds of things to do and to try. And it just kept getting worse.

[00:05:35] The. Limbs started like shriveling up. It wasn’t as full. I went online and was looking up like what experts were doing. I was looking, reading blogs, and I was just trying everything that I could think of to save this tree. When it was on its last. Leg [00:06:00] or limb, if you will. I would go out and I would like talk to it. I would tell it how much I loved it. And how big and strong is.

[00:06:11] Literally all the things, no stone left unturned here, guys. So you could imagine. My surprise or my sadness when. Literally from one day to the next, it was like, it looked like it was getting better. There were like sprouts of new growth and.

[00:06:32] It just died.

[00:06:35] Slowly, like it was like one whole branch. And then two whole branches. And then, you know, I literally watched.

[00:06:47] The last leaf. Turn brown. And it’s so sad. Like I was so sad about this tree. I can’t even begin to tell you, and [00:07:00] maybe I have. All kinds of other feelings around it. Which we’ll get into, but.

[00:07:06] I did everything that I could to save it. Does this sound familiar?

[00:07:15] If you’re listening to this podcast. About divorce. And about journeys that divorced women go through. I know that you pick up what I am putting down here. With the story.

[00:07:31] It’s that when you try everything that you can think of,

[00:07:35] And things still don’t go your way.

[00:07:38] And things happen. That we never intended to happen.

[00:07:44] You guys know, I lost my dog recently. It feels really recently, but it was in September. And. She died unexpectedly. In my arms. And.

[00:07:58] She was like my soul dog. [00:08:00] I. Was her mom. I took full responsibility for her whole life. Everything that I did. Getting choked up, but.

[00:08:10] When she passed. They said that there was nothing that I could have done. Nothing that I could have done. And I’m like, no, they’re for sure. Was. So I feel like a lot of us women can relate to the fact of like, wanting to try everything. Wanting to think of all of these solutions.

[00:08:30] And then it still doesn’t turn out the way that we hope. And this experience is like this from the tree. To my dog, Bella. To divorce or to whatever it is you may also be thinking of. Uh, other situations that have happened to you in your life recently? That kind of have a similar theme, right?

[00:08:57] Where we take on this [00:09:00] responsibility that it’s like our fault too.

[00:09:02] And the fact is that. Sometimes. Things are just meant to close and, and it really. Humbles me in a way to know that

[00:09:13] There is. More to the story. Of my life. I want to share that there’s more to your story too. I want you to remember this when you are going through something. Really know that. There is a bigger purpose to all of it.

[00:09:32] I wanted to give you. Some tips. On how to move through. Something like this. If you find yourself in this situation, so. Feel free to take notes.

[00:09:45] If you’re in a safe spot. Like I said, this really reminded me of. Other times that I have taken on. Over responsibility. For another event. Another [00:10:00] experience. Another life. Another commitment if you will.

[00:10:05] And so the first thing that I want you to acknowledge and remember, and keep in mind. Is to know that you gave. With your whole heart.

[00:10:18] And. When you find yourself in feelings of failure or that you let yourself down or someone else down or the situation didn’t go, how you planned. You gave it and you showed up with your whole heart to the best of your ability with the information that you had at the time.

[00:10:40] The second thing I want you to do is to acknowledge the good of it all. I honor the journey as a whole.

[00:10:49] For the tree, for example. Aye. Try to acknowledge All of the memories that I’ve had with this tree when it provided shade. [00:11:00] When I got to watch the birds playing in this tree from my kitchen window when I was washing dishes or, you know, when I was drinking my morning coffee looking out and I could see all the life and all the different things happening in this tree. Acknowledged the good of the situation or the person or the experience of it all. When we focus on the good, we get more good.

[00:11:28] Not from the law of attraction. Right. Energy goes where attention flows.

[00:11:33] So all acknowledge the good honor, the journey. And then. Being able to humble yourself enough. Too. Open yourself. To what the universe has next for you. And the reason why this is important to do. Is because in these moments, It’s hard for us to give up the control of the way that we thought that it should [00:12:00] have. Ended or it should have played out

[00:12:03] So by humbling yourself, you’re saying like, okay, I am relinquishing the control.

[00:12:11] And I am acknowledging that. That I don’t control everything. And that that’s okay. Because we’re human. You’re a human. And you’re not supposed to be. God. Or the universe or know all the answers or know how it all ends. Right. And so. When we open ourselves up. To what the universe. Has next. We’re also saying Okay.

[00:12:43] I’m also ready to C. Or trust. That there is something better. And the faster that we can do this, and it doesn’t mean I want to stop caveat for a second. Because it doesn’t mean not to grieve. [00:13:00] Okay, you can both grieve. And, and be sad and also be open to what’s coming at the same time. Both can exist at the same time.

[00:13:16] But when we open ourselves up, We’re just. Embracing.

[00:13:24] The openness. That’s it.

[00:13:26] Just embracing that. Something new. Is coming for us and I don’t want to necessarily say like something better. Cause if it’s something like, you know, we’re, we’re someone passes away or something like that, nothing is ever going to replace.

[00:13:41] The experience, the person thing. That the chapter closed on. Okay. That’s why I was saying like, you can both grieve.

[00:13:48] And be open. Because you’re being open to something that doesn’t exist yet.

[00:13:53] We’re not replacing.

[00:13:54] And so all of these things. Help us to move. And [00:14:00] focus on something that’s not. Us putting blame on ourselves. Us sitting with that. A feeling of failure or feeling like we did something wrong or that we’re not worthy. Of good things. So all of these things that I just gave you are all things. That are focusing on Turning our face towards the sunlight.

[00:14:24] Doesn’t change. Our experiences and our past. But we’re just like looking towards the light it’s just a shift. In perspective.

[00:14:35] Like I said, doing these things.

[00:14:38] Pulls us out. Of this conditioning of. Oh, this didn’t go my way. I’m bad. Oh, this didn’t go my way. I’m not worthy. Oh, this chapter closed, no matter how hard I tried to save it. And. That means I suck. Or whatever it, whatever story that it is that you tell yourself or that, you [00:15:00] know, I tell myself stories too.

[00:15:01] I’ve got those little loops playing , but the faster that we can focus on these other things, it just closes the gap faster.

[00:15:10] And I know all of this is easier said than done. Like I’m saying this, you know, with years of experience that I’ve been working on this and developing all my little hacks and my strategies to. Help me move through things a lot faster sometimes. All we need is a guide when we’re in the moment, we have this fog.

[00:15:33] One of my clients recently left me this amazing review and she said, I’m able to do the hard things and lean in when things get difficult, rather than running away life doesn’t stop when building a business or living life.

[00:15:47] So handling the hard things while growing in an entrepreneurial pursuit is a test of faith and dedication to the work that I am doing with Christina. Oh my gosh. Isn’t that? Just the [00:16:00] sweetest.

[00:16:00] In hindsight, you look back and you’re like,

[00:16:03] Oh, it wasn’t that I was a failure. It wasn’t that I was bad. I just needed to learn some things or, oh, I needed time to process or whatever the case may be. We look back and we’re like, oh, I don’t know why I felt that I didn’t have a way out. I don’t know why I felt that. I couldn’t tell what the next step was. And when we become overwhelmed with our emotions and we let our emotions take over. We have this fog. So I created. A very special, essential guide. With 33 of my proven strategies. That you can do that are action strategies.

[00:16:48] You can literally do them right now. 33 of my strategies that I use on myself that I use with my clients. That will move you [00:17:00] instantly. Into action. Towards your happiest ever after.

[00:17:04] It’s free and oh, so juicy.

[00:17:06] Click the link in the show notes.

[00:17:08] Or if you want to DM me on Instagram, you just DME the word secret. I’ll send it to you instantly. Um, but the links in the show notes for you and you’ll get access. I also have a checklist in there. I have a little training in there. As to all of these things that we can do. So that the next time that you find yourself in this. Fog or overwhelmed with this emotion. You have this guide there that you can access that you could start.

[00:17:40] And even if you’re not in a fog, you don’t have to wait to use this. You could start doing these things. So that when you are there, you feel better equipped to find your way out faster. And so that’s why I put these together, because this is like, The first steps that I wish that I [00:18:00] had when I was creating all of these strategies for myself of how to move through these things fast so that I could evolve in my life and get to the good, faster. And we do this in a way where we’re not pushing things down. We’re actually learning how to be our own healer so that we can just process what we need to process.

[00:18:26] Take the lesson, learn from it and move on. And. I created all these strategies to make things easy for you and make things effortless for you. So that way you’re not spinning your wheels, trying to figure out what the next best step is for you. So. That guy it’s there for you. Make sure you can head over to the link. In the show notes or DME on Instagram secret.

[00:18:52] Okay. That’s what I wanted to share. This was weighing on my heart. And like I said, it wasn’t a planned [00:19:00] episode, but I felt the need to just come on and share this with you. So I hope that you enjoy it. I hope that you were able to take a couple of nuggets of wisdom so that you can apply these things towards your life, towards your happiest ever after, and know that you have me in your corner guiding you always towards your happiest ever after your dream life, your U 2.0 after divorce. And we’re in this together until next time.

[00:19:28] I’ll talk to you later. Bye.