Christina: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Rebuilding You, empowered Healing for Divorced Women. I’m your host Christina, and today’s topic is all about changing our perspective and really utilizing divorce as a portal for transformation. Using this as a significant and impactful way, but for good.

Christina: So I’m excited to dive in, but before I do, I just wanted to invite you to hop on my newsletter. I send weekly information to my team, my crew, her heart heals fam. So I will put the link in the show notes, but I would love to see you over there. As I mentioned, I send out weekly, love notes.

Christina: Encouragement, words and stories, and tips, tricks, things that you can apply for free. To your journey of divorce transformation. So if that’s something that you’re interested in, I would love to see you over there. Also wanted to mention if something in this podcast resonates with you or you are able to take something away or maybe you have some questions about it.

Christina: Tag me on social, I’m @herheartheals on Instagram @herheartheals_ on TikTok. so if something resonates with you as you’re listening to this, I would love to share in that moment with you. I would love to celebrate any wins that you may have. So please feel free and don’t be shy to reach out.

Christina: and let’s see, what else? Oh yeah, this podcast. So I just do this podcast on my own. It’s just me and my lovely podcast editor. but I would really, really appreciate your support on some of this content that I put out and you can do that by leaving a review. You can do that on iTunes in Apple Podcast.

Christina: I believe you just click into the episode or click into the podcast area and there should be a section that says leave at the, leave, a review at the bottom and on Spotify. If you click on leave a review at the very top as soon as you go in, I would love to hear your feedback and hopefully it provides great value to you enough to leave a five star review and hopefully help more divorced women as they go through their journey. So, we are ready to jump into the topic.

Christina: Okay, so today’s topic is all around using divorce as an energy portal, and I just wanna start out by saying like we’re all used to our lives playing out in chronological order. But every so often we have these major moments and events that happen in our lives that change us forever. Right? it’s sort of a wrinkle in time that changes our perspectives on things.

Christina: It can create triggers. It can create wounds. It can change how we interact with ourselves and everybody else around us. And those moments, I call those portals, right? So life throws sand at us and it gives us these little nudges. And I’m just going into this analogy because I’ve learned this a long time ago and it really stuck with me.

Christina: So hopefully it makes sense. so life will always give us these little nudges. Life will never try to control the way that we. Make choices, right? We always have our free will to do whatever it is that we wanna do, whether it is the right thing or the wrong thing, or whether we feel it in our gut or we don’t, and we, you know, ignore all the signs and all that.

Christina: But life will always give us these little signs and it starts with what I like to call like grains of sand. That sand eventually will turn into pebble size warnings or notifications or nudges or feelings or events that happen to us, right? Whether it’s like, eh, something happened, but it really wasn’t that impactful for us to change the course of our life or to kind of stop and analyze everything.

Christina: But then it comes the time where life. We’ll put the boulder on you and say, okay, now it’s time for you to stop and pay attention to what is happening in your life right now. And what I wanna say is that the universe, God, however you, uh, you know, label a higher power. Always wants us to win. It is always conspiring in our favor, right?

Christina: All of us humans are born with a path, a destined path, and something that we are meant to live out while we are here in this body, on this earth. I’m not gonna go into other lives right now, but we all have a purpose and a mission in this lifetime to complete. so we get these signs, these little nudges, whether they’re sand, nudge, a pebble or a boulder.

Christina: To help us out. But as I mentioned before, our minds are stronger. We have free will. We make choices all the time. And I will say there is no such thing as a wrong choice. But when we do make a choice that goes against. Maybe some of the nudges that life throws at us that we maybe should have paid attention to.

Christina: It can take us on like a detour. And so let’s say like life, you know, is just going in a straight line. And then we detour because we didn’t see the bright orange cones that life was trying to kind of put us in. And we decided to kind of detour in another direction. Life will sort of always have us get brought back to that same exact spot before we took the detour so that we can get back on track.

Christina: It’s like when you make a turn and you’re on a, you know, single lane highway and you make a turn and you turn into a cul-de-sac. And there’s no other way out. You still have to go around the cul-de-sac and back out through the same point that you came in. That’s kind of how I like to look at that. And so when we get these portals, these large boulders where life’s like, okay, well you’re, you’re gonna listen now because you still have not completed.

Christina: Your mission, you are not even close. You’re not even warm. You are like somewhere else, and you need to get back on track to kind of complete, or at least even start going down the trajectory of the impact that you are called here to make. And so, With an event like divorce, we’re brought back full circle.

Christina: We’re coming around the cul-de-sac and back out the same way we came in. And what I mean by that is we come back as independent people, right? We have shed or parted ways with the person that we committed to. And so now we’re these independent people, except we have all of these experiences that from our marriage to we’re work through and sort out.

Christina: What I mean by portal is that a portal is something that we can step through to shift our perspective and really find the meaning behind this event, or we can. Just keep walking past the doorway and completely ignore it. What you are being called for to change about your internal self is so that you can put your best foot forward and continue on with.

Christina: The mission or the impact that you are meant to bring to this world, to other people for yourself. And I think we so often forget that in divorce, with divorce it, the weight is so heavy and we’re barely even trying to scratch the surface to figure out what the hell happened, how we got here. We’re also super overwhelmed by feelings of shame because we think that we failed at something that society says like, you shouldn’t fail at marriage is, you know, part of, that predestined journey for everybody, right?

Christina: , that is what society tells us marriage is. And so it’s hard to think of this event. Actually as a portal when we think that our purpose in life included to be married to this person for the rest of our lives, right? So it’s hard to like undo that and I get that, but maybe for just a moment, shifting our perspective to say, it’s okay, maybe I just wasn’t meant to be married to this person.

Christina: There’s so many people who end up getting remarried and are wildly happy for the rest of their lives, and that second marriage is absolutely part of their destiny. It’s part of their path. It’s okay that your marriage happened to be a little cul-de-sac. A little detour that you had to take to come back and learn some things, to figure some things out.

Christina: But now it’s time to step through the portal. Now it’s time to say, okay, I went with my free will to participate in this marriage to commit to this other person.

Christina: But now I’m being forced to deal with sort of the aftermath or the consequences of this relationship’s demise. And so I wanna really invite you to look at that and shift your perspective to maybe look at it as a way. Of potential opportunity. And what I mean by that is maybe you’ve been putting off, taking the first step in a new career, a new path, or going deeper on exploring some events that have happened to you throughout your life.

Christina: Maybe you’ve been putting off healing some issues with a parent or a sibling, or you know, a loved one. Maybe you were feeling some sort of nudge about how you were showing up in the world. Maybe you’ve lost touch with the essence of who you are as an individual and you lost touch with what your purpose is in this world.

Christina: And so divorce is a very large portal of opportunity to uplevel. We feel such a heavy weight when it comes to going through a divorce, and we automatically assume that the weight is bad.

Christina: And I want you to just think for a second, do you feel bad because you feel like you weren’t living out someone else’s dream or up to someone else’s standards? Or do you feel just a weight on you?

Christina: And there’s definitely a difference with that because what if it’s not bad? What if we can shift that and use this portal, use this weight that we feel to help us get back on track to find. The meaning behind why this event happened to us at this specific moment in our lives, which seems like the absolute worst possible time, right?

Christina: Divorce, there’s never really, a good time to go through divorce. It’s sucks the whole time, but maybe we can shift the timing of it. And use it as a way for us to come back out of that cul-de-sac and start to pay attention to some of those, bright orange cones that the universe has placed for us to help us find our path, to help us find our purpose, to help us feel more confident in who we are.

Christina: And get back on track with some of the dreams that we had or that we long for deep down inside to bring into this world. I know that the weight of divorce can feel really, really heavy, so I just want us to kind of take a second to acknowledge how that feels. But ask yourself, is this weight heavy because I feel like I’m carrying someone else’s expectations, or is this weight just heavy because of the magnitude of possibility?

Christina: Of this magnitude of this portal, are you just feeling like the energy behind the weight of this event? Maybe that is. All you need to really shift your perspective and say, okay, I can see that this is, you know, a massive event. This is a boulderer that life threw at me that I have to pay attention to and I’m gonna, and sometimes all it takes is that all it takes is that realization that this is happening to you and for you

Christina: versus why is this happening to me? Sometimes all it takes is that little shift for you to begin to make. Positive strides in your life after divorce so that you can feel a little bit more secure, a little bit more confident, a little bit more back on track with some of the things that you wanna create and wanna bring forward into this world.

Christina: So I hope that resonates with you. I hope I didn’t go too far off in my, you know, energy space. Woo woo talk. But I definitely think we can all relate to sometimes these gut feelings or these nudges. It’s the same thing just on a much larger scale. So if you got that, That’s all that matters.

Christina: And so hopefully that resonated with you, and if it did, I’d love to hear from you. So feel free to reach out, comment and I will talk to you next time. Bye guys.