5 Things I Stopped Wasting My Time on After Divorce (And You Should Too!)

There was a time when I was wasting so much energy on things that did absolutely nothing for me—except keep me stuck.

I’m talking about obsessing over my ex, trying to win the approval of people who don’t get it, stressing over outdated timelines… you get the picture. And let me tell you—once I finally let that sh*t go? Everything changed.

Press play & listen to this post!

So today, I’m handing you the ultimate “stop wasting your time” checklist—because if you’re still caught up in any of these, this is your sign to drop it and reclaim your energy.

1. Overanalyzing What My Ex Is Doing

Listen, I used to be a full-time private investigator—stalking socials, decoding cryptic posts, trying to figure out if his new girlfriend was lurking on my page. 🙃 And for what??

The real flex? Not caring. And I don’t mean pretending—I mean reaching a point where their life is just irrelevant to you. That’s when you actually feel free.

🛑 If you’re still checking up on them, ask yourself: How does this serve me? (Spoiler: It doesn’t.) Unfollow, mute, block, move on.

2. Trying to Win the Approval of People Who Don’t Get It

Not everyone deserves an explanation for your choices. Not your family. Not your coworkers. Not your childhood bestie who still doesn’t get why you left.

The people who truly support you? They don’t need an explanation. And the ones who judge you? They’re gonna judge no matter what.

So stop performing. Stop explaining. Live your life for YOU.

3. Stressing Over Traditional Timelines

Marriage by 30. Kids by 35. House, white picket fence, all of it. Sound familiar?

I used to think I was behind because I wasn’t checking all the “right” boxes at the “right” time. But you know what’s worse than being “behind”? Rushing into a life that isn’t even meant for you.

Your timeline is yours. Period. If something is meant for you, it will happen in your divine timing. Stop stressing.

4. Forcing Friendships That Feel Draining

After divorce, your social circle will shift. Some people won’t make the cut—and that’s okay.

I stopped wasting time on one-sided friendships that made me feel like an afterthought. Now? If the energy isn’t mutual, I’m out.

🛑 If you find yourself always reaching out first, always making the effort, always feeling drained… it’s time to let that friendship go.

5. Believing That Struggle = Worthiness

Oof. This one took me forever to unlearn.

I grew up thinking that if I wasn’t struggling, grinding, suffering—I wasn’t earning my happiness. That if it didn’t hurt, it didn’t count.

That’s a lie.

Life doesn’t have to be hard to be meaningful. You don’t have to struggle your way to happiness. You are allowed to have ease. Flow. Alignment. Joy.

And if this one hit home for you, you need to check out Your Greatest Comeback—the only personal growth program exclusively for divorced women who are done settling for survival mode.

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Final Thoughts: What Are YOU Still Holding Onto?

If you’re still wasting your energy on any of these? It’s time to let it go.

🚀 Which one hit home for you the most? DM me on Instagram @HERHEARTHEALS —I’d love to hear which one you’re finally letting go of.

📌 And don’t forget—Your Greatest Comeback is opening soon! If you’re ready to step into your comeback era with confidence, grab your spot on the waitlist now