Let me set the scene: I’m walking my dog, Ruxin, on our usual trail. He’s doing his business (you know what I mean), and I see this couple I pass all the time. These are the never-say-hi-back types, but I say hello anyway because… polite, right?
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Instead of greeting me, the woman looks at me and says, “Aren’t you going to pick up his poop?”
What? Excuse me?
I blurted out, “Do you want me to pick it up with my bare hands?” 😳 Not my finest moment.
But here’s the thing—it wasn’t about her question. It was about what it triggered in me: a subconscious fear that maybe I’m not as good a dog mom as I think I am.
If you’re navigating life after divorce, you probably know this feeling all too well. A single comment, a passing judgment, or even your own thoughts can send you into a spiral. But here’s the thing:
Triggers aren’t your enemy. They’re a mirror.
Let’s unpack why they hit so hard after divorce—and how you can use them to create your greatest comeback.
Why Triggers Hit Harder After Divorce
After divorce, everything feels raw. You’re rediscovering who you are, rebuilding your confidence, and trying to navigate a world that no longer looks like the life you imagined.
Here’s the kicker: triggers love to show up just when you’re starting to feel like you’re finding your footing.
- Maybe it’s someone questioning your parenting.
- Maybe it’s a well-meaning family member asking, “So… are you seeing anyone yet?”
- Or maybe it’s that little voice in your own head whispering, “Are you even doing enough?”
These moments feel heavy because they poke at deeper insecurities—your worth, your decisions, your identity. Triggers aren’t just about the surface—they cut to the core of what matters most to us.
When left unchecked, they don’t just hold you back—they keep you stuck in a loop of self-doubt.
A Client’s Breakthrough Moment
Let me tell you about one of my clients. She’d been carrying her triggers like an invisible weight for years.
After her divorce, she had a dream of starting her own business—a space where she could share her passion for art and creativity with others. But every time she thought about putting herself out there, the triggers showed up:
- What if people judge me?
- What if I fail?
- What if I’m not good enough?
These fears weren’t just stopping her from pursuing her dream—they were isolating her. She felt stuck, overwhelmed, and disconnected from the person she wanted to be.
Through our work together, she had a breakthrough.
She started to see her triggers not as something to run from but as a loving nudge from the universe, pointing her toward the parts of herself that needed healing. And once she embraced that perspective?
- She launched her business, sharing her art and connecting with others in a way that felt authentic and aligned.
- She stopped letting fear keep her from putting herself out there.
- And she finally started building a life that felt true to who she is.
This can be your story, too. Whether it’s starting a business, calling in healthy relationships, or simply trusting yourself again, your triggers hold the key to the life you’re craving.
What Triggers Are Really Trying to Tell You
Triggers aren’t random. They’re like highlighters, drawing your attention to the areas of your life that matter most.
For me, the poop incident wasn’t about the woman’s comment. Deep down, I value being a good dog mom. Her words poked at a subconscious fear of not being enough in that role.
For my client, her triggers called out her fear of being seen and judged.
For you, it might be something else entirely. The key is understanding that triggers are opportunities to grow, not obstacles to avoid.
How to Transform Triggers Into Growth Tools
Here’s a simple, 3-step process to stop spiraling and start growing:
- Pause: When a trigger pops up, take a breath. Don’t react right away—this gives you space to process.
- Identify: Ask yourself, What is this really about? What fear, insecurity, or value is being activated?
- Reframe: Once you’ve identified the root, shift your perspective. For example, if someone questions your decisions, remind yourself of the strength and courage it took to make them.
When you start using this process, triggers stop feeling like attacks. Instead, they become stepping stones toward your greatest comeback.
The Power of Working Through Your Triggers
I know firsthand how overwhelming triggers can feel, especially during divorce recovery. But avoiding them only keeps you stuck.
In my program, Your Greatest Comeback, we dedicate an entire week to working through triggers. My clients learn to embrace triggers as opportunities for growth and even start looking forward to them—because they know they’re a chance to level up.
So, when was the last time you got triggered? Maybe it was your ex’s comment about your parenting. Maybe it was someone questioning a decision you made.
Take a moment to ask yourself: What is this moment here to teach me?
Let’s Make Your Comeback Last Forever
If you’re ready to stop letting triggers control you and start using them to build the life you deserve, let’s work together.
💡 My program, Your Greatest Comeback, is open now, and applications are free and take just two minutes. Click here to apply and start turning your triggers into triumphs.
And if this post resonated with you, leave a comment below or DM me on Instagram @herheartheals. I’d love to hear your story.
Hope you enjoyed this read! xo, Christina
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