Unlearning Survival After Divorce: The Real Reason You Feel Stuck
When you’ve been through something as life-altering as divorce, it’s no surprise that your body and mind go into survival mode.
For months—sometimes years—you’re in constant fight-or-flight: making decisions, protecting your peace, keeping things afloat.
Press play & listen to this post!
But here’s the truth that no one tells you…
The same survival patterns that got you through divorce might be the very thing keeping you from moving forward.
If there were an Olympic event for survival mode, many of us would take gold. We’ve mastered the art of pushing through, holding it together, and staying “strong.” But living like that long-term is exhausting—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
The average divorce in the U.S. lasts 11 months, and that’s a long time to condition yourself to operate in a high-alert state. Once the papers are signed, your nervous system doesn’t magically know how to rest. It keeps scanning for threats even when the storm has passed.
Here’s how to know if you’re still in survival mode:
- You can’t sit still or rest without guilt.
- You avoid emotions or can’t cry easily.
- You feel safest when you’re in control.
- You’re “peacekeeping” at your own expense.
- You only relax when everything feels perfect.
Sound familiar? That’s not peace—it’s hypervigilance.
God built our nervous system to protect us, not to run our lives.
When you learn to shift from survival to safety, everything changes. You make decisions from peace, not panic. You attract healthy love. You feel grounded again.
Try this simple reset:
Next time you feel that familiar rush—heart racing, tension rising—pause. Take four slow breaths, in for six counts and out for six counts, and whisper to yourself:
“It’s safe to soften.”
That one small act starts retraining your nervous system to believe what’s true:
You’re not being chased by the lion anymore.
✨ Ready to go deeper?
Join She’s Not Done — a 30-day system to help you rewire survival mode and finally create your life of peace.
Learn more here.
Hope you enjoyed this read! xo, Christina
Leave a Reply