The Truth About Finding Love After Divorce (Hint: It Starts With You)
Valentine’s Day after divorce can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. One minute, you’re living your best life, romanticizing your solo era. The next, you’re watching your ex post pictures with their new partner, and suddenly, you’re contemplating whether to redownload the dating apps (again).
If you’re feeling the pressure to jump back into dating—especially if your ex has moved on first—you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: rushing into a new relationship isn’t the flex you think it is.
Press play & listen to this post!
Instead, this is your chance to turn this season of your life into your greatest comeback.
Let’s talk about why staying single intentionally is the secret to attracting the love you actually deserve, why it’s not the dating apps, and how to shift your energy so you stop settling for less.
The ‘Traditional Life’ Myth (And Why Healthy is Better)
A woman on TikTok recently told me, “I’m doing amazing in life, but I’m so angry that me and my kids were forced to not have a traditional life.”
I felt that in my soul. Because let’s be real—no one chooses divorce. You didn’t sign up for this. You had a vision for your life, your family, your future. And now? You’re trying to make sense of a reality you never planned for.
But here’s what I need you to know: Healthy is better than traditional. Always. Every time.
A so-called “traditional life” that keeps you trapped in an unhealthy, toxic, or draining situation isn’t a life. It’s a prison.
And the moment you stop longing for the life you thought you’d have and start building the one you deserve, everything changes.
Why Rushing Into Dating After Divorce is a Trap
I see it all the time—women throwing themselves back into dating, not because they’re ready, but because their ex moved on first.
I get it. There’s something about seeing your ex on a boat with his new girlfriend drinking a White Claw that makes you want to scream “Oh HELL no” and immediately start swiping.
But here’s the thing: the women who stay single intentionally—who take the time to heal, redefine their standards, and actually do the work—are the ones who end up in the healthiest, most aligned relationships down the road.
If your ex has already moved on, let me tell you something:
- They didn’t heal.
- They didn’t break their old patterns.
- They’re bringing their same baggage into their next relationship.
Meanwhile, if you prioritize your healing, your growth, and your self-worth? You win. Every time.
No, It’s Not the Dating Apps—It’s Your Energy
Let’s be real: if you’re constantly attracting low-effort, unavailable, or emotionally immature men, it’s not because all the good ones are taken.
It’s because your energy is doing the picking for you.
Your subconscious beliefs—about love, self-worth, and relationships—are like a magnet. If deep down, you still believe:
🚩 “All the good men are gone.”
🚩 “I’ll never find love again.”
🚩 “I have to settle for what I can get.”
Then guess who’s going to show up? The exact type of men who reinforce those beliefs.
The shift? Start romanticizing your own life first. When you stop chasing and start becoming the woman who naturally attracts aligned love, the game changes completely.
My 4-Year Single Era (And How It Changed Everything)
After my divorce, I stayed single for four years.
Not because I wasn’t interested in love (okay, for the first eight months, I was definitely bitter), but because I was more interested in me.
And guess what? When I finally got into a relationship, it wasn’t because I was searching for love. It was because I had become the kind of woman who naturally attracted the love I actually deserved.
Now, I’ve been in a healthy (not perfect, but healthy) relationship for over five years with a man who shows up. Because I refused to settle for anything less.
The Secret to Manifesting Love (And Anything Else You Want)
Want to know the real secret to attracting love? Here’s what I know for sure:
💖 Being authentically YOU will always magnetize the right people.
💖 Desperate energy repels soulmates. Trust that what’s meant for you will find you.
💖 Radical self-love is the most attractive energy on Earth. When you become the love you’re searching for, the right person can’t miss you.
For me, self-love looks like:
✨ Welcoming my inner child with heart-opening practices.
✨ Spending intentional time alone (because I actually love my own company now).
✨ Investing in myself—sometimes it’s business coaching, sometimes it’s skincare, sometimes it’s the stock market.
The love you want? The success you’re craving? It’s already here. It’s just about shifting your energy so you can receive it.
Want to Know Where You Are in Your Comeback?
If you’re wondering where you are in your post-divorce healing journey, I got you. I created a free quiz called What’s Your Comeback Style? It’ll tell you:
✅ Where you are in your healing process
✅ The exact next steps to take
✅ Blind spots keeping you stuck
Final Thoughts: Your Comeback Starts NOW
Whether you want love one day or you just want to keep your heart open, this time is sacred. Use it well.
And if you’re ready to step into the best version of yourself, my program Your Greatest Comeback is designed for exactly this moment. It’s about becoming her—the woman who attracts everything meant for her.
Applications are open now! DM me “COMEBACK” on Instagram (@herheartheals) and let’s chat. 💘
Hope you enjoyed this read! xo, Christina
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